understanding.....

my first post here

A different perspective means a new way of understanding

December 20th, I injured my right knee. Went to the emergency room and waited for 5 hours, from 11:30pm - 4:30am. I was annoyed, well basically furious at the low efficiency of public health care. I waited and waited, got my x ray taken and turned out negative, ie. no broken bones. They gave me crutches and let me go. Out in the cold, middle of the night (morning really), I felt uneasy, lost and simply lonely.

A distance from me sat a taxi, the only one that I could find, which I was desperate to get into. Home seemed so far away to me at that moment, all I wanted was the "ahhhhhhh" sigh of relief when I jumped into my bed. Back to reality. Unfamiliar with my crutches, I slowly hopped my way forward. I heard footsteps, closer and faster every second. Anxious and feared, I thought it was some thug trying to take advantage of the newly handicapped asian boy. Instead, a well-dressed gentleman ran pass me and waved to the cab. Yes, he rode on it and the cab was quickly out of my sight. 'How selfish!' I thought to myself, 'can't you see that I was going for that cab buddy?!' Well, too busy balancing my steps, I quickly brushed off the thought and moved on. No moving objects whatsoever was under my radar, so I decided to wait for a cab at a larger intersection. A cold and miserable night it was, snow/ice was still everywhere, my crutches weren't giving me much support, the 20 metre hopping drained me out very quickly. I was tired, been up for 20 hours, snowboarded, limped, waited in the ER, hopped. I was confused, at the verge of breaking down. The pain and upset, more importantly the emptiness, were very heavy on my shoulders. I called my mom, then my girlfriend just so I could get enough boosting from them. I blamed them, at the very moment, for not being there with me, well just a thought.

After 15 minutes of waiting, an angel descended from heaven. Slowly I figured the halo of that angel was actually the headlights of a cab. I climbed into the back seats clumsily. Told him my address, and the driver was pissed because it was merely a $6 trip while I took him from a 'long trip' I overheard from his radio. I felt sorry but didn't apologize because i thought that was his job, and hey, I AM INJURED and IN PAIN! I thought the tension would build up once I closed that door, but in return he asked about my injury and had sympathy over me. I gave him a $2 tip in return. :p

Finally home, my sigh of relief was way softer that I had anticipated, and I realized that I'm the only one there. I broke down and cried, for maybe 20 seconds. It was very soothing, a great 20 seconds of stress release.  The stress from an exam that I wrote the day before, from the emptiness that I felt earlier. So here I am, December 28th, a week after the incident, what have I learnt?

I realize that understanding is happiness. Before feeling devastated, you should think about what others might have been through and consider different explanations. This may sound like mom talking, but it is true. First of all, my disappointment in public health care. Well, I might have waited for 5 hours, but the hospital had probably saved a handful of desperate patients. Public health care ain't so bad after all, I had a x ray, another doctor's appointment and a MRI scanning, all free of charge. 

The gentleman who pretty much cut 'my' line and took that cab was probably having a family issue, maybe his kids were sick, maybe his wife was upset about his long working hour, maybe he was late for a train.........Maybe? Maybe a lot of things. Being self centred and hating the world isn't going to help. I blamed my mom and girlfriend remember? They were probably blaming themselves for not being there for me, why should I be giving them extra debts? Besides, I should be happy that I had someone to talk to, someone who could give me strength. I needed them.

Cab driver. He was pissed but I could have saved him a long drive, where the person waiting had gone by the time he arrived. Not to mention the triage nurse at the ER, who had serious attitude. But I figure my wait might have been nothing compared with her night shift. Seeing tens of homeless people a day does drive someone crazy, I believe. 

So, dawn or dusk? Your call.